I wanted you to tell me what was going on in that beautiful mind of yours. I wanted you to give me answers even if they hurt me, and even if it meant no longer having you.
We got to that result after too much torture, but I wish you could have spared me the sleepless nights, the tears and the end resulting heartache I felt. Your actions can only get you so far. You need to work on yourself. My only hope for you is that you realize your faults and can own up to this flawed ability you possess.
Why are so many men afraid to talk to women? What happened to you before to make you this way? I wish you had told me what you wanted. I never asked to fall for you. I never asked to be whisked away by your madness, your passion, or your quick-witted charm, but I was, and you left me hanging.
If only I knew the answers to the reasons you shut down. Nothing will get resolved! If you want your relationship to go the distance, both you and your partner have to be open-minded and willing to work on improving your communication, and the first step is acknowledging and trying to break any bad habits that prevent you from communicating in a healthy way.
Once you and your partner are on the same page about how to communicate effectively, there's no relationship obstacle you won't be able to tackle together. Tamara Hill , licensed and nationally certified mental health therapist. Lori Bizzoco , relationship expert.
Fran Walfish , family and relationship psychotherapist. David Bennett , certified counselor and relationship expert. Clara Artschwager , dating and relationships coach. By Laken Howard. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. I love my boyfriend.
He knows that emotions mean more to you than facts. He knows that when he wins the argument through logic, you will never, ever forget it and will use it against him forever. As well he should. You forgot to mention the most obvious one: He has stopped talking to you because he has found himself a side piece and now she is getting all of the time and attention that you, his wife, should be getting.
We use to talk n laugh all the time, our 1st 5 yrs. But, these last 3 of our 10yrs together. Conversation is non existent. I try to to talk about anything. Like, yeah, sure, huh. It gets frustrating. If I try to talk bout our relationship issues. He becomes defensive n starts raising his voice. Nothing gets accomplished or work out for that matter.
I need him specially during this difficult time with the loss of my son 16 mos ago. But, hes just been so detached for the last 4 yrs. He began to make more smalltalk with me and we had little conversations about different topics. It confuses me a lot. What else could be a reason? Their mothers model for them by being in a marriage with such a man that this is the way a man is supposed to be.
Disney films always feature some knight in shining armor who saves the today. The whole damn culture teaches women that men are supposed to be protectors of women and kids instead of just being regular human beings who have the same emotions, feelings and a need for love and comfort as everyone else.
The problem is that when so many women see this from men, as Brene Brown talks about in her book, women become appalled. They view the behavior as unsexy. It destroys the knight in shining armor myth.
How can a man be protective of his kids and wife if he comes home from work crying after being emotionally abused by his boss?? It destroys the whole culture they were brought up with.
Nevermind that many of these men have strong values and will stand their ground and refuse to be emotional doormats. There are those guys and I get that. And with that comes an expectation that certain personal and relationship issues will stay within the relationship. But too many women love to gossip, bitch and complain about men instead of actually talking to their partner or going to see a professional counselor. What guy is going to want to communicate with a girl when he knows she spreading this info around.
This is one area where I feel men have it over many women. They respect privacy, they keep things in house that guys ask them to keep in house, and they understand that by doing this, it creates a closer bond. After failed marriages he cheated on both his ex wives n I had 2 cheaters n 2 abusers My life was finally where I wanted to be.
Our life was great our sex life even better. We did everything together, we talked about everything, including past relationships n what went wrong. Up until bout 5 yes ago I noticed he started becoming less attentive, less communicative n less affectionate n less sex. I did have a complete hysterectomy 2 yrs into our relationship but that didnt change me wanting sex, just had to do things a little differently.
No sex in 2 yrs, he shows no affection, emotional n mentally detached. Habits n routines gave changed. I know I cant live like this no more. Whatever they are I know I dont want to live like this. I watched my mother in a unhappy marriage for 35 yrs.
I think this is spot on. But also one of the many reasons my husband and I no longer connect. A few years ago I met a married man with whom I developed a friendship, then an emotional affair.
He was going through some tough times with one of his kids as well as with a close friend, and he fully opened up and confided in me, no holds barred. I loved him the more for it. I am bereft and miss him every day. What good are marriage vows then? Love is an active choice primarily and is not just a feeling.
Encourage each other to open up to your spouses and be honest. Marriage is a vow to someone to love them for better and for worse. Your new friend that confided in you has forgotten this. He probably found it easier to open up to someone outside of his marriage lower risk. He should man-up and talk to his wife he promised to be with for better or for worse. He might be struggling i. Your husband was promised this when you married and now because of feelings of attachment for another, you want to break the promise to actively love him as promised.
What good are marriage vows in this? Once upon a time, we had a great relationship; the kind of relationship that everyone around us admired. Sex was great, conversation was open, public displays of affection, holding hands while we shopped or when out on the town; we genuinely loved one another, and loved being around each other.
If he is ashamed of something he has done, he hides like a child. If he is worried about hurting my feelings he clams up, and now if he is angry over something I have done or said, he refuses to talk to me, and uses sex as a weapon against me.
When I ask questions he either blows me off, or gets mad at me for impeding on his privacy. When I confront him about certain things talking intimately to other girls, porn, masterbation, smoking weed, or other things we either dont see eye to eye on or he feels guilty for doing he becomes very defensive, and then we start fighting. During the fighting, he brings up issues or problems he has with me, that we either never resolved or that he never felt the need to bring to my attention at the time.
What starts out as me confronting him about one specific issue, turns into ME apologizing to HIM instead of him taking responsibility for the current issue. So now, I talk to him and he responds in 1 of 2 ways: 1 he just sits there doing other things usually playing games on his phone but his body language and facial expressions are expressing annoyance of my interrupting or bothering him.
He doesnt even look at me anymore, because God forbid I should take him away from his phone. It seems we butt heads over everything these days.
We used to talk things out. We used to work together as a team. Our effective communication is gone, and I honestly have no idea why or what got us to this point.
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