Extramarital affairs vary in duration. Long term affairs may last for about 15 months or more. And some can last a lifetime. As an Affair Recovery Specialist, I work with couples whose affairs consist of a one night stand to ones that continued for more than a decade.
Affair recovery is three steps forward and two steps backward until enough time goes by for stability. I have successfully worked with couples on both ends of the spectrum with much success.
They might start demanding things of the cheater, such as more time together or material gifts. Serial cheaters are cheaters who continuously cheat on their spouse. Serial cheating can involve a number of one-night stands or even multiple longer-term affairs. Most of the time, serial cheaters have no emotional investment in anyone but themselves. They seek pleasure at any cost, even if it lasts only for a few minutes. Serial cheaters are narcissists who may lean toward sociopathy.
This type of person tends to be insecure about his or her sexual prowess and requires constant reinforcement. A warm body, any warm body, provides the means to get through the night. Serial cheaters do not feel guilt as other cheaters may. They tend to be manipulative and are able to convince themselves that they are doing nothing wrong. While there are many different types of affairs — one-night stands, longer-term affairs, and even serial affairs — the answer to the question of how long affairs last is clear.
An affair will last as long as it suits its purpose, and no longer. Some affairs last only a couple hours, while others can last a lifetime. Most affairs come to light one way or another, which can cut them short or — if the cheated spouse agrees to let the cheater continue for reasons of their own — extend them.
Affairs that occur for some form of emotional connection typically last longer than those that occur for physical validation, but each type of affair cycles back to personal dissatisfaction and crisis. This makes the length of any one affair difficult to quantify or generalize. Whatever problems one seeks to escape from with an affair invariably will catch up and intrude into the affair itself. It is better to be open and honest about feelings or dissatisfaction, rather than letting them fester beneath lies and affairs.
Enlisting the help of a licensed counselor or third party can help get your marriage back on track, even if that means resolving the issues with a decision to divorce.
While the process of being honest might be stressful, it may minimize further pain and allow both spouses to move forward toward a better future. Beautiful things can grow in that climate-controlled environment. But once you take your delicate flower out into the real world, it dies. Because It was never meant to withstand the climate of a real relationship.
It was meant to be kept in secret for you to enjoy behind closed doors. But then the marriage ends, and you no longer have to escape it. So, why hang onto someone who only made your misery a teensy bit more tolerable?
Part of the reason for the affair was the thrill of that sudden connection and secret passion between you. The short answer? Now that everyone knows about it, you feel like a terrible person. And the one you were cheating with is a painful reminder of that.
Sometimes, the only reason for the affair is mutual lust. This type of affair is the quickest to fizzle. It can last as little as an hour, or drag on for months. But sex is all you really want from each other. If the affair wrecks the marriage, though, the cheater has no reason to hold onto their affair, let alone marry the person they were cheating with. Maybe you were tempted to have an affair with someone , because they make you feel wanted and sexy.
They filled an emotional need that your marriage did not. So, you kept spending time together, but you kept it platonic. The only sex that happened was in your heads. And you kept that secret, too.
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